I am used to the world of can’t,
where it’s all constriction,
restriction,
limitation,
degradation,
and maybe, someday (but not, really, ever).
Never allowing myself to Want
because fulfillment never comes.
I understand the world where I am not enough,
no matter what I do,
not good enough,
not smart enough,
not thin enough,
not rich enough,
not fun enough to enjoy.
I understand the struggle
for self worth,
for reason,
for understanding,
for love.
Yes, this,
this I understand.
But this new world I find myself in?
Where love is the sunshine
that illuminates the land,
and smiles grow like wildflowers,
and where a quiet joy
bubbles just under the surface of always?
I am unsure of my steps
in this landscape
where pleasure is connected to the Divine,
and Joy is treasured.
Where actions flow without struggle
and all timing is perfect.
Where the size of my smiles,
and the gauge of my giggles,
and my saucy hips wiggle wiggles,
are all measured by my willingness
to Want.
This I do know: unfamiliar or not – I am never going back.
